if you're drinking water while reading something so funny that you spit on your keyboard, tell tech support you don't know why the R key doesn't work

poetry of the weak

one day, when you least expect it, i will have sex with you.

... george takei vs. tim hardaway

overheard

overheard in girlhattan:

mom: you're not watching the grammys? the red hot chili peppers are on! you used to love those!

* * *

girlhattan: i think the snow is fucking with my technology

* * *

poo: i need to workout
poo: get a neck massage
poo: and eat some pancakes before i get all hearty tonight
poo: i should leave now then
girlhattan: omg i need some deep tissue work
poo: dude
poo: i need a new neck

* * *

the real deal: overheard in new york

talk to the hand...

girlhattan: "Talk to the hand. I got shit to do."
kingtee: and a cheerful good morning to you too.
girlhattan: that was a caption
girlhattan: for the image you sent!
kingtee: i know in quotes
kingtee: oh
girlhattan: she's all NINJA PLEASE
kingtee: damn
kingtee: hes all like "my heart, my heart"
kingtee: LOL
kingtee: (crying on the inside)
kingtee: shit! she can fly.
girlhattan: i'm sayin
girlhattan: she's got places to go
girlhattan: homes is draggin her down
kingtee: lol
kingtee: lmao
kingtee: homes
girlhattan: she's like, maybe if you ditch the stache
girlhattan: babe
kingtee: lol
girlhattan: and
girlhattan: um
girlhattan: the eyeliner
kingtee: i mean
kingtee: dude cant fly
kingtee: its a wrapper
girlhattan: all the ladies tha's independent throw your hands up at me!

sister chat (again)

Hollis: i sent you my pick
go see hugh
me: what pick
Hollis: pic
the one that everyone hates
me: oh



me: you look like an extra from oliver
PLEASE SIR CAN I HAVE SOME MORE?
Hollis: LOL!
OK I AM CHANGING IT
me: it's cute
a cute kind of homelessness
slash
neglect
Hollis: I THOUGHT I LOOKED PRETTY
CAOPOEIRA BOY THOUGHT I LOOKED SAD
me: yeah pretty/sad
or hungry
or homeless
late night commercial
for only 36¢ a day
you could feed hollis ann
leave it up for a while
who cares
Hollis: YOU ARE TOO FUNNY
I WILL LEAVE IT UP.
PUT THAT ON YER BLOG

Hollis: OK I GOTTA GO.
GOING TO SEE ALPHA DOG TONIGHT!
me: k
Sent at 1:46 PM on Tuesday
Hollis: HELLO?
me: hello?
Hollis: JUST CHECKING


see also: previously posted sister chat

this is what goes on

girlhattan: i should be a jewelry designer in my next life
girlhattan: or a male model casting director
poo: totes
poo: I should be a fluffer




girlhattan: xtina video for "hurt" on TRL today - premiere
my girl james: pretty song
girlhattan: i love it
girlhattan: i love the song
girlhattan: the video could have been a little less literal but whatev
my girl james: lol
girlhattan: more freaks would have been nice
girlhattan: i mean
girlhattan: if you're gonna do circus
girlhattan: but that's just how i roll
my girl james: totes
girlhattan: ok so joseph texted me the other night
girlhattan: but i was out
girlhattan: then today i saw something about old skool graffiti, which was his life growing up - anyway, i sent it to him
girlhattan: he wrote
girlhattan: thanks sweetie
i love that you still think of me
all white and old like i am
but you know i know whats up
I think of you everytime i drive over that damn bridge
I look at your bldg and smile at you
I mean that
come visit me in bklyn
its getting cold and perfect for ordering take out
later
J
my girl james: mmm
my girl james: nice
my girl james: sweet, kinda hot
girlhattan: def
girlhattan: i would totally order in and make out w him
my girl james: totals
my girl james: order some make out
my girl james: i mean take out
girlhattan: LOL
girlhattan: wait
girlhattan: can i order make out?
girlhattan: that would be AWESOME
girlhattan: i need to find a way to merge the model casting and the make out take out
girlhattan: into one business
my girl james: it sounds awesome

sister chat

my sister is in vet school.