g i r l h a t t a n

g i r l h a t t a n

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

name that film.

Jeweler: Sister? I wasn't aware Mr. Trott had a sister.

Nikki: Been away a few years.

Jeweler: Boarding school?

Nikki: Board school, right.

Jeweler: Switzerland?

Nikki: Excuse me?

Jeweler: I said, was the school Swiss?

Nikki: Sure. Sure, one of the Swissest.

unsolicited online dating advice




if you really want nice, normal women to write to you,
or to respond to your emails, then:

DO NOT write "Woman or Lesbian Couple" under
"Who I'd Like To Meet"

DO NOT attach a photo taken of you:
- standing on your head
- naked in bed, taken from above, while making an "oh" face
- with an ex, with an actual X drawn on her face
- bleary-eyed and drunk

DO NOT write in "recreational gynecologist" as an occupation

Monday, November 28, 2005

do(e) a deer.

randy deer

quick recap:

- ate turkey

- watched high tension on DVD. alone. at night. thought, it's french, it'll be a little scary, but mostly stylish. it was so freakin tense, so gory. wondered aloud, "why am i doing this to myself?"

- saw a maybach parked in front of la esquina and joked to my friends, "a maybach! who do they think they are, jay-z?" then looked inside and saw beyoncé sitting in the backseat

- partied like the world was ending at the tribeca grand. the cribs played at midnight, and the cobrasnake was snapping the crowd

- sunday hangover recovery was spent - where else? - at the big apple circus. note: cotton candy/pretzel combo alleviated headache quite well

Wednesday, November 23, 2005


keisha castle-hughes, star of whale rider, during new zealand fashion week.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

loose ends


above, the '72 beemer belonging to DJ O.

below, the song referenced in the previous post title.

{ladies and gentlemen, romeo void.}

i might like you better if we slept together.

i'm late in writing about my weekend, which was pretty enjoyable.

dinner at miracle grill on first ave, which is apparently closing in december.

farewell, savory hanger steak. goodbye, well-seasoned porkchop. i hardly knew ye.

oh, right, there will still be the west village location, as well as the one in park slope.

moving right along.

after dinner, drinks were at morrissey park, which had a foul odor.
but the DJ played the cure, and the vino i ordered wasn't bad at all.

after that, i picked workhorse up at mo pitkin's, and headed down to fat baby to meet ms. chen and friends, and the glass of wine i had at fat baby was absolutely vile. just putrid. also? the crowd sucked. i left the full glass of wine behind, as we ventured on to mercury lounge, and then ended up going home relatively early, like 2:30ish.

saturday i spent some time in the post office trying to figure out how to mail something to hong kong. afterward, i ran into DJ O on delancey street, and he took me for a ride on his shiny shiny 72 BMW, and then we ate chicken and rice at castillo de jagua.

saturday night i stayed in and had my own private film festival: one i've never seen, serenity, and two i have seen but still love: hedwig and the angry inch and velvet goldmine.

everytime i see velvet goldmine, it gets better and better. the songs! the clothes! jrm's LIPS!

speaking of jrm, who is several different kinds of gorgeous, there are some really nice pics of him over at justjared.

sunday i went to screening of rent, which was okay, i guess.

some of the songs are really quite stupid. grating, with bad lyrics.

but that's not the movie's fault.

and rosario dawson is a gem, i just love her.
the new york times summed the movie up this way:
"junkies sing about their feelings".

'nuff said.

velvet goldmine screencaps from velvet demon.

Monday, November 21, 2005


do you know any straight single guys who like food and would like to meet "hot" single girls who like food?

send 'em over to the amateur gourmet.

everyone is welcome, they just seem to have a shortage of straight guys.
what else is new?

a little hint.

i love when i get emails from hint mag.

i got turned on to the very cool andrew burmeister prints....

and i also found this site called nine daughters and a stereo, where you should go if you like pale, skinny german models.

free booze.

my friend seva is throwing a huge party tomorrow for his site, myopenbar.com. if you like free booze, you should probably go.

Friday, November 18, 2005

interracial photo of the day

you're just so damn beautiful.
i'm completely, totally, irreversibly in love with you guys.

dear santa,

how are you? yeah, i know, it's been a while.

i can't believe it's almost thanksgiving!

in my family we like to say we don't celebrate the murder of indigenous peoples.

but my mom does like to make her patented "kosher ham" which has brown sugar, walnuts and a bottle of maker's mark poured over it before it's baked in the oven. one year she made delicious spinach lasagne for the vegetarian chick my brother was dating and the rest of us had cornish hen.

anyhoo, you know i only write to you when i want something, so let's cut to the chase, shall we?

sterling silver cuff or bangle - tiffany & co.
if it's timeless, it probably came in a small blue box.

oui ring - dior
oh, mais oui!

ancient marks
gorge photography book of tattoos and body markings

gosh, there's probably more, but we've got time, haven't we? more later.

have a great weekend!


Wednesday, November 16, 2005


ooooh, hurry on over to paperdoll heaven!!!

you can makeover nicole richie, choose an appropriate outfit for bjork, or dress (and undress) johnny depp! it's highly addictive and oodles of fun.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

dear mr. simmons,

i think you're really amazing. i do.

when i was a teenage clubkid i would see you at the tunnel, usually hanging with stretch armstrong or whatever. just chillin.

i actually saw you over the weekend. just leaning against your SUV on st. marks, talking on the phone. casual. even though you're worth millions.

and i think it's cool how you're all into yoga now, and you support poets, and you've got the hip-hop summit action network changing the lives of kids all over the country, and stuff like that.

i respect you, and that is why it's hard for me to ask you this question:

what is up with your wife?

Tuesday, November 08, 2005


so there's this guy.

learning from disastrous encounters, i'd recenty sworn off any "creatures of the night" - i.e. bartenders, waiters, graveyard shift con ed employees - anyone who's working around the same time i'd like him to be taking me to odeon for some steak frites.

but this guy is a bouncer.
and although at first glance i thought russian, he turned out to be polish.
and hot.
and into me.
and i was definitely having impure thoughts about him.

my attorney called from hellay and we spoke at length about the pole.

girlhattan: i think i'm gonna climb that pole.
hellaylaw: you should. you should slide down that pole.
girlhattan: then would i be a pole cat?
hellaylaw: maybe, if you take up pole vaulting.
girlhattan: and pole dancing.
hellaylaw: you should polish that pole.
girlhattan: you know he's six three, right? that is a large hunk of man candy.
hellaylaw: you're going to have to have to keep licking until you reach the creamy center.

we went on like this for a while.

so the pole and i started flirting in person, then talking on the phone, then text messaging, and then, very suddenly, quarrelling.

you know those films where time is all sped up and you can watch an army of ants gather and devour a water buffalo or whatever?

i'm having a warp speed time-lapse relationship.

it's been less than a week and we are already having a passive-aggressive text message fight, in which i am determined to have the last word.

i think i'm breaking up with the magnetic pole, and we haven't even started seeing each other.

meow meow meow meow meow meow.

it's a henrietta pussycat kind of day, wouldn't you say?

Sunday, November 06, 2005

it's not easy being...

friday we had a very special visitor at work.

editing the magazine

he talked about his world tour and his relationship with a certain pig.

he said the tom and katie thing was "a little weird."

someone asked, "are you a scientologist?"
and he said, "i'm an amphibian."

he said the rumors about his new TV show "America's Next Top Muppet"
are true. ABC ordered a script but nothing is set in stone yet.

he said that "it's getting easier to be green."

he said he was excited to be a stamp, "and you don't have to lick
me, i'm self-adhesive."

saturday i did some gallery hopping with tsuyoshi, edna and ms. cole. we saw some great stuff: maira kalman, ryan mcginness, and marc swanson.

tsuyoshi and edna

ms. cole


i also went to the plain of heaven show at the end of the highline. the highline is so oddly beautiful - rusty, abandoned, but with plantlife sprouting everywhere... years ago i went to a michael alig disco 2000 outlaw party on top of the highline. there was a girl wearing an outfit made out of electrical tape and a guy in a chicken suit and lots of drag queens and free vodka and it was only about a half hour before the cops showed up, kicked us off the train tracks and the party moved to limelight.


now there's a thai restaurant called highline. ms. cole and i had some tasty pad thai there after all the art. i want to throw a party in their pool lounge, it's so retro-future-cute!

later saturday night i went to the new musical version of the color purple. at some point this weekend i slept, i swear.

Friday, November 04, 2005


hang man

this is old news, but if you like robbie williams and haven't seen him naked, here's your chance.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

hotter than the hinges of hell

heat radiates from the flames of the phoenix.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

what the ???


omg. it is november. the year is practically over.
whatever you said you were gonna do this year, you'd better get on it.

life has been a little too crazy in girlhattan. when it gets busy there's no time to blog.

but here are some updates:

the four day freakfest known as halloween was completely reeeedeeeculous.

i've converted some people over to dodgeball. i wish more would join - that's what makes it fun!

the kaiser of kool is moving to new york!!!

i'm reading another bullshit night in suck city, which is really good so far. it also prompts interesting comments from my fellow subway riders.

i forget the name of the delicious cocktail made with strawberry puree and champagne that i order every time i go to employees only but it's my new favorite drink.

employees only

a couple of weeks ago, i read that shep "obey" fairey was designing posters for the new johnny cash movie, but i hadn't actually seen them - now they're everywhere. i want one!

shep fairey