a couple of days ago i watched this woman, who was eating pizza in the passenger side of a SUV as it rumbled down clinton street, zip down her window and throw a dunkin' donuts napkin out onto the street.
as the car rolled away i had the urge to pick the napkin out of its filthy puddle, run over to the car, knock on the window and, when she zipped it down, deposit the napkin in her lap.
"here's your napkin back," i would say. "you left it on my block. oh, and i'd just like to get your address so that if i have anything i want to throw away, i can leave it in front of your house."
of course, i just kept on walking with the rage tucked neatly away.
as for the insanely tweezed eyebrows: they're vexing in general, but especially on supposedly straight men.
right now - and i hope i don't end up swimming with the fishes for writing this - serious offenders can be seen on growing up gotti. hey, kids. put the tweezers down. slowly. that's it. everything's going to be OK.